


Merlin and the Dreaded Horoscope

by Eggsyobsessed



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Eggsy proves him wrong., Horoscopes, M/M, Merlin thinks horoscopes are shit., Silly, Superstition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23072212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: Every weekend Eggsy and Merlin receive the paper, and Eggsy reads the horoscope. Merlin thinks their superstitious bullshit and Eggsy thinks he's being a skeptical arse.On one Saturday Eggsy finally proves to his husband that they aren't just crap made up by a person behind a desk.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	Merlin and the Dreaded Horoscope

**Author's Note:**

> Want to thank Anarcycox for the prompt, title, and helping me come up with something mindless to write. 
> 
> I've been struggling and needed something short, simple, and silly.

“Hey babe?” Eggsy called from the top of the stairs. “Did you grab the paper?” Merlin usually collected the mail and often the paper boy had dropped the weekend issue early in the morning. He rolled his eyes as Merlin grumbled something about superstition. “Horoscopes aren’t superstition!”

“They are bollocks, Eggsy!” Merlin responded as he passed the stairs, surely heading for the kitchen.

Eggsy skipped into the master bedroom to toss on an old Marine hoodie, slipping his socked feet into slippers and headed down where Merlin stood at the stove flipping pancakes. By the grace of God, and Kingsman to be honest, they were both off for the whole fucking weekend. Eggsy planned to do fuck all with the day and just curl under Merlin’s jumper if he could. Even when he wasn’t working as the secret agencies Quartermaster, Merlin still wore a jumper of sorts or even a cardigan. Eggsy had snapped a photo that day for evidence that his husband wore more than a bloody cotton, poly blend jumper.

“Chocolate chip?” Eggsy asked, hopeful, and peered over Merlin’s shoulder. “You’re the best,” he proclaimed as Merlin flipped another brown dotted pancake.

“I think you are five.” Merlin’s accusation held no heat as Eggsy’s arms weaved around his middle, holding his backside flush to his chest and dropped a tender kiss to his neck.

“Isn’t that why you love me?”

Merlin pinched his arm. “Don’t be cheeky.” Eggsy nipped his nape. “Of course it’s why I love you.” He leaned back, allowing Eggsy to support a bit of his weight before he turned in Eggsy’s arms for a slow, proper kiss. “Your paper is on the table.” Eggsy peeked over his shoulder with a wide grin; Merlin had even separated the sections they preferred to read.

“You spoil me, babe.” Eggsy lifted on tiptoes for a quick, chaste kiss and untangled himself to pour a mug of coffee.

“Hmmm,” Merlin hummed an agreement as he settled at the table.

The small kitchen slowly started to fill with scents of bacon that sizzled in a pan, eggs cracked and whisked in a bowl to be scrambled. Eggsy sipped his coffee, eyes scanned the horoscope section as Merlin plated eggs, bacon and pancakes; syrup and butter already laid out on the table.

“Thanks,” he murmured when a full plate was placed in front of him. Merlin sat across, taking his own section to read and tucked in. A few moments passed that were filled with pages being turned, cutlery clinking against plates and soft mutters of appreciation for the breakfast. “How’s the stock market doing?” Eggsy asked in between bites of his second pancake.

“Apple is down a percent, Microsoft went up two.” Eggsy didn’t know a fucking thing about the market, nore what was good or bad and what they held a share in, but Merlin’s expression was pretty blank which meant they were good. “How’s your fake fortune?”

“Ain’t fake!”

He’s read horoscopes ever since he’d been told a new career and life were in store for him. How coincidental it was the day Harry had bailed him out. Merlin cocked it up to chance, but yet each day hit it on the nose for Eggsy. A week ago his proclaimed new opportunities would arise in his personal life, and lo and behold Harry asked if Eggsy would be willing to swap days off and would seemingly align with Merlin’s. Of course his skeptical husband swore it was due to the fact that he had climbed up Harry’s arse and threatened within an inch of his life if they didn’t sync up one day.

Eggsy would have believed it too, if it weren’t for the change in missions they needed to do which evidently resulted in this weekend with Merlin.

Merlin rolled his eyes over the rim of his mug. “It’s crap, Eggsy. All made up. Anyone who reads them can find ONE thing that relates to them.” Eggsy glared at him. “Don’t give me that look, it’s true and you know it.”

“You’re a killjoy, you know that?” Merlin chuckled as Eggsy straightened his paper rather loudly, while dramatically crossing his legs to finish. He knew everyone's birthdays and signs, so it was always fun.

He allowed a few moments of uninterrupted reading go on before he piped up. “Oh! Look at this! Aries have a new love interest in their future, think we should tell Rox?” Merlin scoffed from behind his paper. “Annd…” he trailed off, reading a bit more, “-looks like Capricorns have some financial disturbance, think I should tell Harry? Not that it’s such a huge surprise, I’m sure he’ll be buying more pocket squares he don’t need.”

Merlin lowered his paper, eyes squinting over the top. “Oh! Looks like Pisces are expecting turmoil. Should I warn Percival? I’m sure that will have something to do wi-” Merlin snatched the paper out of Eggsy’s hands before he could finish the sentence.

“Eggsy,” he said patiently. Eggsy grabbed it back. “Ouch!” Merlin brought the web between his thumb and forefinger to his mouth. “Ye gave me a paper cut!”

Eggsy stuck his tongue out. “Serves you right for being such an arse!” Hazel eyes narrowed at him, displeased. “Don’t be a shit, Hamish.” He got up, taking a tea towel and wetting it to place over Merlin’s injury. He wiped it clean and tenderly pressed his lips there. “Better?” Eggsy asked softly.

“Better.” Merlin agreed with a warm smile.

“Good.” Eggsy gave him a loud, smacking kiss. “Now.” He dropped back into his chair and grabbed his paper. “Do you want to hear your horoscope?” Eggsy grinned cheekily, eyes wagged playfully at his husband.

Merlin scowled at him. “No!” He snapped and stood to clean the mess from cooking.

The day passed in a slow, comfortable fashion. Neither of them left the flat for more than taking JB to the garden, no one even bothered to go on a walk. It didn’t seem like the pug minded a bit as he lazed about the sitting room, only occasionally annoying Ella; Merlin’s eight year old Siamese cat.

She tolerated the canine, to say the least, and more times than they’d care to count, JB ended up with a swiped nose. Eggsy had long stopped being concerned, because the pug didn’t seem to learn that when Ella slept, you didn’t lick her head. She was a little picky with her company anyway, and often Eggsy wasn’t even allowed to pass a hand along her silky fur.

They didn’t move far from the sofa, Eggsy was certain their asses would leave an imprint into the cushions. Positions were changed a bit for bathroom breaks, and the unnecessary nap they both took around three in the afternoon. It was the most unproductive day Eggsy had ever had, and he gathered Merlin as well, but fuck if felt bad about it.

“We did nothing all day and I feel fucking fabulous.” Eggsy said as he disappeared into the en suite to brush his teeth. “I should feel guilty, you know?” He spoke to Merlin’s reflection in the mirror.

“Aye,” Merlin agreed. “But I don’t,” he added after a few seconds.

He was all relaxed, bare chested on top of the sheets as he scanned his tablet. Eggsy started to believe he’d want to be buried with the fucking thing, but refrained from the question because he wasn’t sure he’d agree with the answer. Once he had finished his business, washed his face, brushed his teeth and flossed, he meandered in and crawled beneath the covers.

“Me either.” Eggsy shimmied further down, a content sigh leaving him on an exhale. His eyes scanned around to see Ella comfortably snoozing in the bay window under the moonlight, posing as the goddamn Queen she acted like. While JB was in his dog bed at the end of theirs on the floor. 

“Stop reading.” He bumped the back of Merlin’s tablet. “We can do more of that tomorrow.”

Merlin huffed, irritated, but did as he was asked anyway. He shut it down, took his glasses off and slid beneath the sheet and duvet Eggsy held open for him. It took a whole second for Eggsy to cling against his side, like he were a damn magnet drawn to Merlin. Long, strong arms easily accommodated Eggsy’s preferred sleeping position, turning them so he was the little spoon with his arse backed into Merlin’s lap.

“You’re such a clinger.” The affection bled beneath the tease, even as his legs slipped around to cage Eggsy’s. Merlin’s lips were warm, like velvet beneath his ear in a delicate kiss before he nuzzled there.

“Good thing that’s another thing you love about me,” Eggsy informed him. A quiet giggled escaped him as Merlin rubbed his stubbled chin against Eggsy’s neck, knowing damn well he was ticklish. “You know,” he offered after a few silent beats passed, “-your horoscope was right.”

Merlin groaned behind him, rolling away with an irritated sigh. “Not this again,” he moaned.

“Oi!” Eggsy took his arm and yanked him back into position. “You didn’t even hear what it was.” Merlin begrudgingly returned to be the big spoon, and Eggsy took his silence as an invitation to continue. “It said you’d have a nice, relaxing day at home that was long overdue.” He could feel Merlin’s eye roll. “I can prove it!”

“Eggsy, I’m tired.” Despite Merlin’s protest, Eggsy could hear the curiosity beneath his tone. Eventually Merlin growled, a seemingly defeated sound in the back of his throat. “Go get the damn paper.”

Eggsy was already up and out of the bed as soon as Merlin said ‘go get’ and was back up in record time, huffing all the while with a huge beaming smile on his face as Merlin stared up at him; shocked etched his features. He hopped onto the mattress and shoved the section in Merlin’s face. He watched, pleased, as Merlin’s expression morphed from doubt to utter disbelief.

“See!” Eggsy damn near vibrated with satisfaction. “Told you it wasn’t bollocks.” He slithered back into place, even as Merlin gawked at the page with mouth gaped open like a fish out of water. “Come on.” He took the paper from Merlin, coaxing him back into a lying position and secured his arms around his waist.

“It’s just make believe,” Merlin whispered. “One day doesn’t mean it's true!” He said more forcefully this time, but with less conviction than earlier this morning.

Eggsy twisted for a kiss, scooting his bum back into Merlin’s lap and brought one of Merlin’s hands up to delicately place his lips there.

“I love you, and I’ll accept an apology in the coming weeks.” Merlin tightened his arms around Eggsy and rested his cheek over Eggsy’s.

“I love ye too.” Eggsy was nearly asleep when he heard Merlin argue, “One day doesn’t mean it isn’t bollocks.”

Except four weeks later, after Merlin’s horoscope had been accurate every SINGLE day since, he was indeed apologizing to his husband, and with the best fucking sex ever.


End file.
